My wife (32F) has a single, recently divorced friend (31F) Kelly, who she invited over for some holiday drinking and venting time since it is her first holiday without her husband and the rest of her family lives outside the US. One bottle of wine in, they moved on from talking about family stuff started talking about the dating scene as a 31 year old divorcee.

She started going through her “recently relaxed” criteria: must be 28-40, make $200k+, 5’11”-6-‘6”, non-smoker, doesn’t want any more kids, not-obese….all boxes that I check. Now, she pulled out her phone and pulled up this site that lets you plug in your criteria and see what percent of men in the US meet her criteria—>0.046%.

I was floored, surely that combination of things isn’t THAT rare I thought. I decided to chime in and say, “and I imagine most of those guys are needle dicks too, I wonder what the odds go down to if you add in above average dick as well”, my wife chided me, “women don’t date for dick size you idiot, I just got lucky” and gave me a peck of a kiss…well we ran the numbers anyway using me as an example (she’s told her close friends about me and our open relationship since we started dating) and that takes the eligible dating pooulation for my wife’s friend down to 0.000046%.

After they finished the second bottle of wine, my wife asked me to drop off her friend since she was too drunk to drive herself. As we all walked towards the garage, Kelly asked if she could have my help fixing her wifi, it had stopped working right before she left to come over and couldn’t figure it out before she had to leave. I work in tech so my wife has never been shy about offering up my troubleshooting services to friends and family, she gladly swiftly approved the request and gave her Kelly a big hug before walking us out the back door into the garage.

Important part of the story: one of our main open marriage rule is that we maintain a “whitelist” and a “blacklist”, Kelly is on the blacklist. So I was definitely not going to be making any moves on her.

On the drive, Kelly drunkenly rambled on about how she wishes she could find someone like me out there, that she really loves the way my wife and I live our lives. Then she put her hand on my thigh.

“I know I’m on the blacklist, but do you think you can make an exception for a lonely divorcee?”

I politely moved her hand off my lap and replied “I’d love to, but you’ll have to run that by Mary! Those are the rules.”

Just as I parked my truck in her front driveway Apple CarPlay chimes in “new message from Mary”, I tell it to read it, “Kelly is on the whitelist until after the holidays”

I glanced over to look at Kelly who was grinning ear to ear, she put her hand back on my lap and gave a gentle squeeze, moving her hand a little further down until she had a firm grasp on the outline of my cock through my jeans, then another gentle squeeze.

“Let’s go inside” -Kelly