They say you can never forget about your first time, and it's the same thing with me. And of course after that very first time, I've had many more, but the impression made back then has been imprinted into my mind, my consciousness, ever since and whenever, wherever, a stimulant can suddenly trigger that memory and I'm once again plunged into the blissful nostalgia of pleasure, and pain.

I still recall my first white cock, it's shape, its color, its smell, its taste, and, of course, also the pain and orgasms it has brought upon me, and every minute detail, every thought and every expression I had during its torment is playing inside my brain as if I were watching a movie, as my life flashes before my eyes.

At the time I just became divorced and I decided, for the first time ever in my life, to meet with a random guy that was not my husband.

I was determined to do this. I downloaded Tinder, matched with a young man in his 20s. He had a handsome smile and he seemed sociable and well mannered. After chatting for a few minutes I already decided that I wanted to fuck him. And the rest was setting up the logistics, where to meet, when, what to bring. That took a few hours and we finally decided to meet inside a hotel.

My heart was pounding when I went there and my pussy was tingling. As soon as he showed up the smile on his face was exactly the same as it was on his pictures and he was actually even taller than what he had described in his profile. I honestly thought he was lying when he said he was only 5'11. Because he looked like he was over 6 feet tall.

And he had such a silver tongue. I mean he was suave. He talked about his hobbies, his job, his dreams, and as he talked, he started hugging me, and soon we were kissing. The fact he was so tall made me feel so tiny and I was swept off my feet like I was 18 years old again. My spring has arrived, I thought to myself. My land is fertile and ready to be seeded, and he had the plough and the hoes to dig and water me.

He took me to our hotel room and started undressing me. He played with my nipples, massaged my feet, my legs, my thighs, and fingered my pussy. Then he licked all over me. I have never felt so pampered and loved before and I was already moist between my legs.

As soon as he was ready to penetrate me though, I started to notice a problem.

His cock was so much thicker and so much longer than anything I have ever experienced and as soon as just the tip of his cock entered me, I literally felt like I was being split in half. I was moaning and groaning. I told him that I was losing my virginity all over again and he just smiled and he said, yeah he has had this problem before with other Asian women as well.

Soon the cock was half way inside me and already I said, I have never felt myself being so filled. I was panting. My tongue was sticking out. And my brain was fried.

My eyes widened and I was making animal noises. It was as though electricity was running through my entire body. It was like giving birth to my son again except he was not just pulling out but pushing back in as well! That was the thought that I had at the moment. And for no apparent reason, I blurred out, "is my pussy tighter than other Asian women you have fucked?" The fact that he has fucked other Asian women than me made me feel jealousy and I really wanted to pleasure him, I really wanted to tell him I'm special, and so I grinded through the pain and accepted as much of him as possible. I bucked my hips and made sure that I take all of his cock inside me, humping my pussy all the way down to the base and I nearly screamed out in pain as I did this.

And as he kept going, the orgasms started flowing through my body. I felt my soul was being pulled out of me and I was in heaven. The pain was still excruciating but so was the pleasure.

And then it hit me. He was not stopping. He just kept going. I have already been hit with a dozen orgasms and yet he was still fucking me. He even started to fuck me in positions that I thought was never possible, like lifting me up in mid air, grabbing my legs and twisting my arms behind me, and fucked me this way in front of a mirror so I get to see my own pussy being destroyed by his big white cock.

My excruciating ordeal. My destroyer. My conqueror. Everyday since then I relive through what he had given me, but like a drug that has lessened its effect, I now need more excruciating pain, and more humiliating and more perverse sexual acts to get my fix.