Something to offend everyone !
· I’m living next door to a lebanese couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you quickly while the kettle boils!
· Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its fucking hilarious !!!
· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly cunt?" It’s not yours is it?
· I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give him a mouthful.
· Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was colour blind. I’m fucking worried now that some of my mates could be coons. If you are, can you delete my number? Ta
· There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
· I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, aboriginals and arab rapists is not the correct answer.
How to use iPad
1) Remove iPad from packaging. Emit long "Oooooohhhh".
2) Turn iPad on and show it to others. All say "Oooooohhhh".
3) Put iPad down and get back to work.
4) When new person comes, repeat step 2-3 ad infinitum.
5) When everyone has seen iPad, put it in cupboard
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